happy march the first!

Sorry, but why does the Chicago Women’s Half Marathon’s free “Training Kick-Off Kit” include a pink smelly candle? What does that have to do with running? I can’t burn a candle while I’m out running*, and when I get home, do they actually think that I have time (or want) to draw a bubble bath and light some candles and contemplate my navel?

I hate this women’s-sport shit. Like we won’t do it unless we have stuff in shade of pink. Running skirts? Wear ’em, don’t wear ’em, I don’t care, but don’t try to tell me they are about empowering women. They’re about selling products to women using the same tactics that the rest of our society employs — you have to accomplish AND be pretty! — only using the guise of empowering women which is somehow even more insulting.

* as lau wisely said, “I run FROM pink smelly candles.”

last night i made the trek from hyde park up to evanston to see the opening of Everything is Illuminated at Next Theatre (go see it, btw! beautiful work — the design, most of the acting, and the language, of course). i hadn’t been to Next in at least 3 years so it was predictably nostalgic — where i started my production management career upon first moving to Chicago. on the drive up i did the math and realized that the end of this season will mark TEN YEARS that i’ve been working as a production manager. wait, what? when did that happen? when did i stop being entry-level? B is always telling me that i’m a really good production manager, and while i make no claims to be infallible, i know that he’s right — i AM really good at this. but it suddenly occurred to me that i had i bloody well be good at it if i’ve been doing this for ten years! zoinks. i did a quick count and i think that, with this current production starting tech tomorrow, i’ve produced 51 shows. guess it’s time i stop being insecure, right?

on a related note, i’ve decided that my as-yet-to-be-written memoir about being a production manager will be titled “Is It Going to Be Like That?”

a good aikido class tonight. sensei has been out of the country teaching for a few weeks, which takes a teeny bit of the pressure off (of me, anyway). i trained with K, and i usually hate doing that, because she inevitably roughs me up, as though by being extra hard on with me she can somehow make me tougher, except that she always crosses the line past motivation and instead just makes me sore, afraid, angry, and ultimately, intent on avoiding her. but the school is smaller than it used to be, enrollment is down, and it’s hard to avoid anyone. and she was surprisingly patient and helpful. her aikido already was excellent; maybe she’s become a better teacher in the course of the last three years. nevertheless it was a full night of nikyo and no one escapes without achy wrists.

i have that Rip Van Winkle feeling about the dojo — while i’ve been away for 3 years, everyone else has kept training. they’re 3 years forward in their training lives and relationships and i’m still where i left off. except, that i’m not entirely. my aikido hasn’t progressed, but the ways that i use my body have, both good and bad. the arthritis in my right foot has changed the ways that i can move that foot, and i have to learn how to adapt my aikido to a foot that doesn’t bend properly (hence the achy wrists, because what does a stiff foot have to do with a wrist injury you ask? answer: everything.) but in more positive ways, the training that i have been doing folds back on itself and continue to inform other parts of my life. like a good northern californian, i did a lot of yoga over the past few years. matching my breathing with movement has gradually become second nature, and now i’ve noticed that i breathe differently on the aikido mat. i have nothing to back this up, but i have this notion that there are links between breath and ki, energy and movement, and this connection on the yoga mat has a place in other parts of my training and life.

Another exercise fail: woke up too late for morning aikido; was too lazy to swim at lunch; worked too late to want to do yoga after work. I just need winter to ease up so I can run again! I start to go a little crazy without running.

Looks like we might survive winter after all.

i’m pretty proud of my little brother, who is about to get a job offer from twitter and is in final stages of interviewing with google, too. it’s cool having all amazing siblings/siblings-in-law. :)

when i was a kid and fighting with my ‘stupid brothers’, no one told me how awesome it would be to grow up and be friends with them someday. and for them to marry similarly awesome women who would become the sisters i’d always wanted.

i stayed up late and baked a Chocolate Ugly Cake. it is, indeed, ugly. it has to age, apparently, so we have to wait until tomorrow to know how the taste came out.

despite the cold, there was something in the air of spring today.