7.7.01

Q.

A. Tonight, I’m in Boulder, CO.

Q.

A. Yes, I realize it appears that way. But really, I do work sometimes. I’m just on a lucky-streak when it comes to avoiding 9-5 office jobs right now.

Q.

A. Visiting my brothers.

Q.

A. We’ve been mountain biking, swimming, saw most of three movies, went out for dinner a couple of times, went on a tour of Matt’s lab and his college campus.

Q.

A. O Brother Where Art Thou, Moulin Rouge, and some old Jackie Chan movie, back when his co-stars were even worse actors than he was.

Q.

A. Yeah, we are. They take exception to the fact that I inspect their refrigerators and declare them to be Bachelor Fridges.

Q.

A. Bottled water, a brita filter, beer, condiments, peanut butter, frozen entrees, left overs of unknown vintage.

Q.

A. Yeah, they picked on me as a kid, too. We get along much better now that we’re grown up.

Q.

A. Well, as a child, I had this speech disorder in which certain words were pronounced properly in my head, but came out of my mouth sounding completely different. For example, there were years in which I used the word “soasty” to mean “thirsty”. Chris found this an endless source of fun. Jen: “Mom, I’m soasty.” Chris: “Mom, Jenny’s soasty!” Jen: “I’m not “soasty”, I’m SOASTY!” Chris: “That’s what I said, she’s soasty” Jen: “MO-OMMM!”

Q.

A. Matt used to eat chicken noodle soup with a soda straw. His jaws weren’t wired together or anything, he just liked it that way. The noodles slid right up the straw pretty well, but the lumps of chicken would cause a jam.

Q.

A. Chris? Well, I’m sure he did weird stuff too, I’m just to sleepy to think of it now.

Q.

A. Well, it is 2 am. Can’t we finish this tomorrow?

7.5.01

so i’m in a log cabin in the woods with my lean mean computing machine, trying to be a web designer with a really glorious telecommute. trouble is, the selection of ISPs out here is pretty thin. oh DSL, how i miss you so! in order to truly express my agony, i’ve composed my own alanis morissette song about my online woes (courtesy of brunching shuttlecock’s alanis lyrics generator):

“Will to Live”

I feel miserable

Phone calls make me ill

I feel miserable

Billing-by-the-minute tears at my foundations

I feel miserable

No carrier tones are dragging me down to the depths of misery

I want to die

Is it because of The Bad ISP that I feel this way?

With the green rays of misery pounding on my brain?

Or am I lost in tale of Dylan, adrift far from home

I don’t think so, I don’t think so.

Earthlink Broke My Will to Live

Earthlink Broke My Will to Live

Earthlink Broke My Will to Live

I was getting better but then

Earthlink Broke My Will to Live

I feel miserable

Tech support rots the flesh from my bones

I feel miserable

14.4 Kbps defeats my purpose

I feel miserable

These suckers are doing their best to impale my soul

I want to die

Is it because of The Bad ISP that I feel this way?

With the green rays of misery pounding on my brain?

Am I lost in tale of Dylan, adrift far from home

I don’t think so, I don’t think so.

Earthlink Broke My Will to Live

Earthlink Broke My Will to Live

Oh God, earthlink Broke My Will to Live

I was getting better but then

Earthlink Broke My Will to Live

oh, but it gets better: my new song, now run through babelfish’s english-japanese-english translator (because i’m just not tired of that toy yet):

” ” The miserable telephone which has lived it calls and in me the miserable computer miserable bill the misery where where I would like to die it pulls with my fundamental thing where I feel that I am pulled to depth and in order to tear, I where in order if to do thing, I feel the sickness which I feel like this do, as for thing that you feel because of the bad ISPs difference? misery of my brain the green light ray of pounding. or I me so lost with the story of the Dylan from the house which is not thought, wandering, directly, me so you do not think, it is. To the Earthlink which has lived me where I who in order to live me broke will broke will will you obtained the Earthlink well than me to the Earthlink which has lived, you broke, but, Then as for the Earthlink if my bone thing where in order my purpose where I feel that the impale miserable suction cup is best and has done to be defeated thing I feel my mind where miserable technical support meat miserable email I who broke my will in order to live would like to die because of the empty it becomes corrupted as for me I who am felt like this do, as for thing that you feel because of the bad ISPs difference? misery of my brain the green light ray of pounding. I me so lost with the story of the Dylan from the house which is not thought, wandering, directly, Me so you do not think, it is. To God namely the earthlink of Ohio state which has lived me where I who in order to live me broke will broke will will you obtained the Earthlink well than me to the Earthlink which has lived, you broke, but, then the Earthlink broke my will in order to live.

the important sentiments to pull from that, I believe, are:

“Earthlink broke my will in order to live”

“I feel that the pale miserable suction cup is best and has to be done”

“where would I like to die? it pulls my fundamental thing; I feel that I am pulled to depth and order tears”

“miserable technical support meat”

“aye me! so lost in the house which is not thought, wandering”

“to God: the earthlink of Ohio state”

yeah, i think that just about sums up my day. oh, and i had fried prawns for dinner at a resturant called Lardo’s. they were too greasy.

7.4.01

the MUNI Freak of the Week returns! for one week only!

since i was in sf last week, and completely at the mercy of public transportation, naturally i had plenty of candidates for my Freak of the Week contest (see earlier entries). i think the winner has to be the guy with the mole-goatee. he had one of those tiny, long stringy goatees, the kind that you sometimes see on the chin of an elderly asian man, pencil-thin and about 6 inches long, all scraggly and coarse. well, this guy had one, only all the hair was growing out of the mole on his neck. i kid you not. i couldn’t stop staring. he had this big but not offensively huge mole on his neck, a little off center at adam’s apple height, and a six-inch bundle of hair, about as thick as a pencil, growing out of it. i mean, what would possess you to cultivate a thing like that?

so it’s the fourth. mccall has a nice sort of small-town style fourth of july celebration. this evening they set off fireworks over the lake, and everyone in the area gathered along the shore to watch. hundreds of boats were out in the lake as well, their starboard and larboard lights twinkling like christmas lights. little kids ran about madly, jumping in and out of the lake, sparklers in each hand. i absolutely love fireworks. there is nothing in this world that can still make me feel like a child – small and overwhelmed and delighted – like fireworks can. by the time the grand finale begins, i always find myself clapping and grinning and giggling like a kid. the combination of the sparks raining down over my head, and the big chest-thumping booms create this sort of sensory-overload in which all traces of i’m-too-jaded-too-like-this-stuff are completely obliterated, at least for the duration of the show.

7.3.01

i find it was much easier to keep a regularly-updated blog when i had a 9-5 day job. update: i’m back from sf, and now i’m in mccall, idaho, at the family cabin. this would count as more vacation if i hadn’t been up till three last night working. i actually hauled my big old box and monitor up here, and now i’m set up at the kitchen table, while from the open windows the scent of sun-warmed pines wafts in. if i look out the back door, beyond the deck there is a solid wall of forest – pines and fir and aspens shimmering in the breeze. “sick sick sick,” you’re saying, “if you’re on vacation, why not leave the computer at home!” you’re right of course, i should be out kayaking on the lake, but i’m not really on vacation, i just have a glamorous telecommute. this web project that i’ve been contracted for has been on hold since february, and then suddenly, boom!, it had to be done NOW. as offices go, this is about as good as it gets, i think. i have the golden retriever asleep at my feet, the sounds of the forest in place of pumped-in office white noise, only natural light – none of that icky fluorescent flicker, no cube walls, actual windows that open, and i’m working in my p.j.s. now, i should actually go work.

coming tomorrow: MUNI Freak of the Week returns.

6.28.01

vacation is good. since i arrived in sf, i’ve done very little, which was exactly what i needed. lauren and joe are at work all day long and i’m lounging around their apartment, mainly breaking up fights between the cats and reading dave eggar’s Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. at the moment, little cat is curled up in my lap like a little purr-monster. what he lacks in a tail and front left leg (the latter was lost in a car wreck, the former never existed in the first place), he makes up for in purrs and sheer pluck. and he’s at that attrociously cute phase in which his ears and paws are fully-grown, but the rest of his body is about 1/4-cat sized, and his odd gait and lack of a tail make him look exactly like a bunny when he hops around the house.

dave eggars has yet to actually break my heart with the book (altho the first chapter about everyone dying of cancer was enough to give me nightmares on tuesday), he is a fabulous writer. tonight we’re driving down to palo alto like the literary dorks that we are so that dave eggars can perhaps sign lauren’s copy of the book or maybe answer one of our questions. last time we tried to go to a dave eggars reading, we arrived right on time to discover that everyone else has arrived much earlier than that; we were so far outside the building that we could only tell that he said witty things because of the belly laughs that echoed out of the room. we did, however, notice that the crowd outside the building was the most amazing collection of young, hip, beautiful, literally-looking types the city has ever produced. we agreed that next time we were looking for a beautiful literary boy to pick up on, we’d head for the nearest book reading and show up 10 minutes late. luckily, i already have a beautiful literary boy at the moment, so i can limit my book readings to the ones i’m actually interested in.

time to play lauren’s geetar a bit, and then go for a run in the marina.

6.25.01

wow, how time flies. amadeus opened saturday, at last, and after a sunday show in 40 mph gusts of wind (we had to cut all the scenery, and chairs kept blowing around knocking audience members in the head), i spent today recovering from tech week. (for those of you who haven’t had to live with me through a tech week yet, the last week before a show opens, the play is loaded into the theatre and all the technical elements are sorted out, and stage management-types like me work 12-14 hour days. add to that the fact that ISF is an outdoor theatre baked by the desert sun, and that i’m on my feet working for all 14 of those hours each day and you get the general idea of the tech week brutality and why the rest of my life goes to hell and i stop answering phone calls, email, communicating in general or washing my dishes). the company recovered nicely today by rafting the payette river. white water rapids alternated with water fights, a beach party on a sand bar in the middle of the river, and lying on my back on the raft, drinking beer and getting sunburned. it was a good day, despite the fact that my sunburned knees are now radiating heat through my jeans.

so now amadeus goes on hold for two weeks while some other shows do their thing, and i have a little time off. i’m on the 11:40 am flight to sf tomorrow morning. those of you who live in the area…i’m coming for you. or, if you don’t hear from me, i’m staying at lauren’s place and playing with her new kitty all day long, so call me there. vacation, whoo-hoo!

6.22.01

happy first day of summer, folks. oh, that was yesterday. well, close enough. i’m in tech right now, which prevents me from keeping track of what day it is as i labor under the 97 degree desert sun. the challenges of outdoor theatre are many. some thoughts:

-the wildlife count: skunk, deer, robins, geese, ducks, mosquitoes, mice, beetles the size of mice, and june bugs.

-the bad: blinding sun, sunburn, props melting in the heat, the William Shakespeare Mosquito-Breeding Pond, wind, a nine-foot tall bust of Mozart on wheels, a bloody heavy curtain with very poor rigging which i get to haul up and down up and down, mosquitoes, 15-hour work days, it’s too dark to read my paperwork.

-the good: i get paid to do something new and interesting every day, from my “office” (stage left), i can look up and see the milky way, (how many jobs offer that perk?), i know all about making fake blood, and i expect to be really buff by the end of the summer for all my efforts dragging that curtain up and down again.

amadeus (by peter shaffer) is a fabulous play. had i more time and more properly functioning brain cells this morning, i’d give you a synopsis, but in the mean time you’ll have to get the reviews from someone else.

6.17.01

i saw Tomb Raider last night. it required a higher level of willing suspension of disbelief than the average movie, but if you gave into the whole video-game-fantasy-woman-turned-movie thing, it was kinda fun. sort of like indiana jones, only with boobs. and boy did she have them. they were actually distracting from the rest of the movie, which i suppose is the point. but man, if they were distracting to me (how do they get silicone to bounce like that in the slo-mo scenes?), i can’t imagine how a 16-year-old boy would be able to follow the plot at all. perhaps that’s why the dialogue was so painfully simplistic. returning to the indiana jones analogy – much better special effects and sets, and the stakes were a bit higher (they’re searching for an ancient relic that gives the owner the ability to control time), but the same general plot was there: good archaeologist races against the bad archaeologist to get the ancient relic. less focus on creepy-crawlies, more focus on guns strapped to thighs. high art it ain’t, but i rarely say no to a free movie ticket, and a good time was had by all.

6.15.01

currently in my CD player: Throwing Muses, In a Doghouse, disc 1. highly recommended.

6.13.01

first task of the day:

ferry actors around town

get your own damn car