now that the wedding is over, i thought we were done with hating on The Knot, but they dragged me back in one more time when i was looking for some etiquette guidance on writing thank you notes. just in case anyone wasn’t already clear on the fact that The Knot has its priorities, well, totally out of whack, let’s just review the following rules on how to write a thank you note:

Getting Started: How to Write a Thank-You

– Set up a designated writing area at home. Make sure it’s a comfortable place, not too far from the kitchen or bathroom, with a TV or radio nearby.
– Buy yourself some great wedding stationery. After the wedding, act like a married person and get the good stuff. Go for the heavy-duty notecards in ecru.
– Even better: Have them monogrammed with your new initials. That’s right, flaunt your married status!
– Equip yourself with pens that you like to write with. Stay away from the cheap supermarket variety that make big ink blobs when they’re overused. Go for a more grown-up writing instrument — roller-ball pens are much smoother. Mont Blanc makes some impressive models, if you’ve got the cash. Go ahead and have it monogrammed, as long as you’re in we’re-married-now mode.

So, let’s review: The first four instructions were 1) make sure that the awful chore of writing a thank you note doesn’t make you any more uncomfortable than it has to, 2) continue to be super pleased with yourself for having gotten married, and 3) buy yourself some more expensive crap that you don’t need.

Eggnog with whisky, brie on crackers with fig jam, roasted pear, pecan and gorgonzola salad with balsamic reduction, butternut squash ravioli with browned sage butter, lemon pound cake with cranberry sauce, coffee, bourbon.

Vegetarian Christmas dinner with Ben’s family is awesome!

Merry Christmas to you and yours and may the New Year bring peace and kindness to all of us.

…to continue my Norman Rockwell Christmas in Cleveland: I slept late this morning and woke to hear Ben’s family gathered around the piano downstairs playing Christmas carols together. Ben’s mom (the piano teacher) on the piano, his sister (the actress) singing, ben on trumpet. my family never has been the gather-round-the-piano-and-sing sort of family (and if they were, god help me, it would be a lot harder for me to duck out of singing obligations), but it’s heartwarming to be adopted into a family that is.

we drove to Cleveland today, to spend the week with Ben’s family. there’s something terribly Norman Rockwell about throwing all the suitcases and the gifts into the car and driving home to mom’s house, when compared to the dehumanizing stress of today’s modern airport visit. for the past 16 years i’ve had to fly at Christmas time. i love love love the holidays with my family but there’s nothing lovely about setting the tone for the holiday with air travel (some years, worse than others). by comparison, the car was quiet; ben and i took turns napping and driving and listening to America’s Test Kitchen podcasts and the hours and the miles slipped away, a low winter sun shining at our backs as we headed east along the great lakes. we parked in the drive and walked into a kitchen warm with the smell of pot roast, carrots and potatoes, cookies.

Zeke has pancreatitis, poor kitty. And all at once we transition into elderly-cat ownership. Vet bills, cat barf on the rug, temping him to eat with tasty treats, worrying about weight loss and water consumption, medicines to swallow and others to inject.

This is why no one should have kids until they’ve cared for a pet first.

to mark the start of the holiday vacation, B and i drove to the suburbs (well, Evanston), did some christmas shopping, ate dinner at Chili’s, and saw a late showing of The Hobbit. only halfway through the evening i realized why i had been craving an evening of what is totally out of character for us — it’s totally IN character for what i’d be doing with my family if i was home in idaho for christmas.

First snowfall of the year. Very sick kitty who needs to go to the vet in the morning. Laying awake in bed worrying about the cat, listening to the soft tick tick of snow against the window.

Dear Mr Jackson:

The Hobbit is a children’s book.

The story is not, actually, all about orc-dwarf fights. You could (and should) have cut 45 minutes out of the movie by just knocking down the CGI battles. The Hobbit is supposed to be charming. Your orc fights just turn the stomach.

Sincerely, me

PS – your Goblins and Orcs look the same. No one who hasn’t read the books will understand the difference. (And even some of us who have.)

Came home to find that the cat had barfed in not one, not two, but three of my shoes today.

skipped aikido again today. i’m full of excellent excuses about holidays and house guests and work obligations, but the truth is that when i really thrived at aikido was a time when my work was a totally non-challenging, safe place. i believe strongly in the value of doing something a little bit scary every day. it’s how you grow and live and become better. but for the past 3 and a half years, my job has been that little-bit-scary thing every day. i don’t seem to have enough bravery left over.