5.12.02 – sweet, idaho

a hypochondriac’s guide to ordering at a road-side cafe with questionable hygiene practices:

order freshly-deep-fat-fried everything; the temperature of the grease ought to kill most forms of bacteria. the grimy plastic table-side ketchup bottle is crawling with germs: either don’t use it at all, or, if you have to touch it, the rest of the meal must be eaten with a knife and fork. order soda; the water from the tap comes out the color of light draft beer. don’t think about where those ice cubes came from. never chew your fingernails.